Day two of my bootless existence led me out of the office and onto campus. Besides being giddy at the thought of being back in "regular" footwear, I took a moment to enjoy all the wonders filling the Bayside campus. I am truly hard pressed to imagine a more idyllic setting for learning, and many faculty members agree, judging by the amount of students learning on the Bluff. But the flowers aren't the only thing blooming here on campus. With AP Exams starting next week and SAT testing going on this week, anxiety is mixing in with the pollen in the air! For tips on soothing stress during exam time, I refer you back to this post.
Excitement is also mixing with the pollen, as the Seniors prepare to say hello to their futures and goodbye to their Bayside family. Many parents, however, are feeling trepidation over excitement; especially those facing their first/only child's college send off.
Change is always a difficult thing, and the transition from parenting a teen to parenting a young adult can be very difficult. If you have been a "helicopter parent", this transition can be even more trying. While your child may see leaving the nest as a big step towards independence, you might view it as losing them. While stereotypes often portray the mother falling apart when her "baby" grows up, it is often the father and siblings left behind that are effected the most by a child leaving for college. It is important for all family members to accept that their family system is changing, and each person will have to adjust to their new roles.
Use the last summer before your child leaves for college as a transitional try-out, knowing that in a couple of months you will have a young adult instead of a teenager. Soon enough, your child will be making their own decisions, you won't be waiting to see if they meet their curfew, they'll be picking their own classes/majors/life plans. Beware of turning your house into a battlegound before your child leaves! Establish house rules regarding curfews, having friends over, etc. and be clear about them so you don't add to any chaos during this "last summer". Use this as a jumping off point for creating ground rules for your child as they do leave the nest. Consider the following: How much do you want them to call? When do you want to visit? What's going to happen with finances? What's going to happen when they come home? Expectations will change for both parties, and it is important to recognize and accept that.
Technology will play a big role in helping you keep in touch with your college bound student, so also use the summer to learn how to use email, webcams, digital camera, Facebook, texting and so on before your child leaves (because they know how to use all these things better than you). The more new ways you can find to stay involved in each other's lives, the better. Don't stop communicating just because a child has left for college!
Excitement is also mixing with the pollen, as the Seniors prepare to say hello to their futures and goodbye to their Bayside family. Many parents, however, are feeling trepidation over excitement; especially those facing their first/only child's college send off.
Change is always a difficult thing, and the transition from parenting a teen to parenting a young adult can be very difficult. If you have been a "helicopter parent", this transition can be even more trying. While your child may see leaving the nest as a big step towards independence, you might view it as losing them. While stereotypes often portray the mother falling apart when her "baby" grows up, it is often the father and siblings left behind that are effected the most by a child leaving for college. It is important for all family members to accept that their family system is changing, and each person will have to adjust to their new roles.
Use the last summer before your child leaves for college as a transitional try-out, knowing that in a couple of months you will have a young adult instead of a teenager. Soon enough, your child will be making their own decisions, you won't be waiting to see if they meet their curfew, they'll be picking their own classes/majors/life plans. Beware of turning your house into a battlegound before your child leaves! Establish house rules regarding curfews, having friends over, etc. and be clear about them so you don't add to any chaos during this "last summer". Use this as a jumping off point for creating ground rules for your child as they do leave the nest. Consider the following: How much do you want them to call? When do you want to visit? What's going to happen with finances? What's going to happen when they come home? Expectations will change for both parties, and it is important to recognize and accept that.
Technology will play a big role in helping you keep in touch with your college bound student, so also use the summer to learn how to use email, webcams, digital camera, Facebook, texting and so on before your child leaves (because they know how to use all these things better than you). The more new ways you can find to stay involved in each other's lives, the better. Don't stop communicating just because a child has left for college!
