Character Education Girls in 4th, 5th, 6th Grades

Today I held a Character Education Class with the girls in the 4th, 5th, and 6th grades during each classes PE time. As it 'tis the season, we talked about Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali, Kwanzaa, and the Winter Solstice. Most of the conversations centered around Christmas and each of the girl's perceptions of that holiday. Many of them spoke about "things" and "stuff", so we went in-depth on the true meaning of Christmas and the spirit of the season. While I know every family has their own traditions based on their own individual spiritual beliefs, I wanted to touch on the general concepts of goodwill and gratitude. We spoke at length about gratitude and what it means to each of them. We also discussed how each of them can individually show gratitude. We also did a "gratitude" adjustment exercise where each of them wrote nice things on a note card about the others in their small group.

I hope this Character Ed class reminded each of your daughters how lucky they are and the power they have to effect change on another person's life through their choices each day. I also hope that each of you will model gratitude, goodwill, thankfulness, and peace to each of your children not only this holiday season, but each and every day!

I will be tackling the boys and the 3rd grade on Monday!

Let's Talk about S-E-X-ting

I have had a few emails, phone calls and what not since "sexting" has been in the news this week. While I am not putting out an official school or administrative stance on the issues, I did want to send along some information from a Cyberbullying research group (because I am all about data!):

Recently, we’ve received calls and inquiries about “sexting” and the Jesse Logan case, and so I thought we’d discuss the matter here. For those looking for an official definition, we characterize “sexting” as “the sending or receiving of sexually-suggestive or explicit text or pictures via one’s cell phone.” Anecdotally, it seems that the phenomenon is growing in frequency and prevalence, and has garnered a significant amount of attention in the last month due to the publicizing of Jesse Logan’s suicide in July 2008. In that tragic situation, the 18-year-old girl took her life after an ex-boyfriend circulated nude pictures of her to a large number of their high school peers. What is interesting is that Jessie contacted the media after the incident about the harassment, but nothing substantive was done in response by any authority figures. Two months later, she committed suicide after suffering scholastically and relationally on account of the humiliation and abuse she received from classmates. Eight months later, we are seeing more cases of law enforcement and district attorneys coming down hard (with child pornography convictions) on youth or young adult males who circulate pictures of their underage girlfriends (or ex-girlfriends), and some would argue these convictions are overkill, outside of the original intentions of legislators who formulated the laws, and a double standard that unfairly punishes minors for what adults sometimes do with impunity. Others believe that such strict interpretation of the law (where it is a felony to take, send or keep any sexually-explicit image of a minor) is necessary in order to prevent tragedies like the Jesse Logan case.

I talked to a school administrator today who underscored how big of an issue this was in their district, gave some suggestions as to what could be done - and when schools could step in and confiscate and search cell phones of students for evidence. We believe schools (and parents) should at this point emphatically stress to youth that sending, receiving, or storing sexually-suggestive pictures on their phones is extremely risky and could lead to criminal prosecution. They should also underscore the importance of never taking and sending these types of pictures of themselves to anyone - even those they trust - because of the ease with which they can be forwarded or shared with others (friends, acquaintances, and strangers). Finally, educators should remind youth that they will work closely with law enforcement should this behavior occur among the student body. Teens must realize beyond a shadow of a doubt that the act is not worth the pain, humiliation, and penalties that will likely result.

With regard to hard empirical data, the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and Cosmogirl.com recently conducted a survey of over 1200 youth which found that 22% of girls and 18% of boys have electronically sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves. We are currently studying the phenomenon and will share our findings as soon as possible.

Additionally, I urge all parents to look at the cell phone/texting/sexting/electronics guides at
MediaWise and Common Sense Media

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

Well not really, but it *is* cold and I did see rumors of snow or sleet in the forecast and for a moment I forgot we were on the Gulf Coast! But judging from the stress of the students who have been in my office this week, we must be getting close to finals time!

I had a wonderful talk with the Lower School Parent Alliance Members and I am looking forward to their suggestion of not only having a School Counseling Blog, but also a page forthcoming on Edline. Taylor Strunk and I are working on the technical details to get it launched as soon as possible.

Since I know many of you are currently trying to finish/start/avoid holiday shopping, I wanted to pass on some great advice from Common Sense Media:

End the Battle Over Holiday Wish Lists

Kids often give their parents major grief for crossing "cool" games off of holiday wish lists. In kid logic, games are "cool" when they have awesome graphics and gameplay, envelope-pushing storylines, and all manners of weaponry. And they aren't wrong. The games they want typically are well constructed, thoughtful, and exciting. But they're often inappropriate for the teens who hunger for them.

A lot of this season's most talked-about games include ones with excessive violence, negative role models, extreme gore, sociopathic behavior, and other things that have been proven to have a negative effect on kids.

So how do you give kids what they want without giving them what you don't want? Know your options. Follow our tips on a choosing great video games, check out our 2009 video game gift guide, and offer alternatives that don't veer into unhealthy territory.

We've compiled a list of this season's hottest games, plus 10 you can say yes to. In choosing our alternatives, we stuck with T-rated titles geared for ages 12-15, and we matched gaming systems -- so if you nix an M-rated PS3 game, you can replace it with a similar T-rated PS3 game.

10 Cool Games That Are Uncool for Kids (and 10 Alternatives)

Assassin's Creed II Authentically recreated Renaissance cities, near photo-realistic action, and historical accuracy make this a great game for mature players. But playing as an assassin who relies on an arsenal of weapons makes the violence excessive.
Alternative: Mirror's Edge

Borderlands This first-person shooter earned critical acclaim for its innovative use of weaponry, comic-book-like world, and online play. But the game (which has a cover that shows a character shooting himself in the head) has strong language, human enemies used as target practice, mature humor, and lots of blood and gore.
Alternative: Infamous

Brutal Legend Cartoon-like in its graphics and delivery, this fantasy action game nonetheless features plenty of violence, including the ability to hack and slash demonic armies with your double-sided axe.
Alternative: Ghostbusters: The Video Game

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 An immersive first-person perspective ups the realism of this shooter, which contains a controversial (but optional) level where you go undercover as an enemy terrorist.
Alternative: Battlefield: Bad Company

Dead Space: Extraction This atmospheric, horror-filled tale offers players a unique cooperative play option, but its use of violence -- like blood spurting out of victims' bodies, human carcasses littering the floor, blood-stained walls and floors, and copious screams of torture -- put it over the top.
Alternative: Deadly Creatures

Dragon Age: Origins This is a masterly crafted but combat-heavy game featuring decapitations and swords plunged deeply into monsters' chests.
Alternative: Braid

Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony Frequent and ruthless violence, gratuitous sex, lawlessness, drinking, drugs -- this isn't a game for kids. But the fully interactive open world offers an immersive diversion for hardcore gamers.
Alternative: Batman: Arkham Asylum

Demon's Souls It's not just the copious amounts of blood and the smaller enemies who fall like rag dolls at your feet -- this game also has a depressing vibe. Because you constantly die, it can break the spirit of even the most seasoned gamer, but hardcore players relish this kind of challenge.
Alternative: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

Left 4 Dead 2 Teamwork is an essential component of this super-gory shooter, but violence -- players are meant to gawk at and appreciate the extreme levels of gore -- plays a much greater role.
Alternative: Overlord II

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars Don't let the cartoon-like look and DS platform fool you. While this game's fully realized world and challenging missions are fun for adults, players can use the services of prostitutes, run over pedestrians, and kill police officers.
Alternative: C.O.P.: The Recruit

Video Game Editor Jinny Gudmunsen contributed to this article.

Have a great weekend full of holiday cheer, and keep warm!