We had a great Homecoming full of school spirit, and our amazing Athletes have won championships, gone to playoffs, sectionals and state competitions. Additionally, we are wrapping up our celebration of Red Ribbon Week. This year we brought the message of making safe and healthy choices down to the lower grades through Character Education in First through Sixth Grades including a message for the littlest ones about medicine safety (as they often confuse drugs and medicine). A red sock day proved fun for all, and those caught spreading the message earned a special surprise.
I have been working diligently to remain proactive here in the counseling office, which is hard when children are so reactive. This is especially true during the middle school years. I urge all parents to help their middle school aged children to stop feeding the drama llama. The drama llama is a creature that invades the middle-schooler's life alongside hormones and increased academic work.
While these tweens and early teens are beginning to struggle with finding their own true self-identity, they often get caught up in the waves of drama surrounding them. Urge your children to be a good friend by listening, but not adding to the drama with friends in seeming "crises" (that aren't really). While they may have this new sudden interest in girls or boys that wasn't there before, strongly encourage them to make time for the friends they had before being stuck by cupid's arrow (because those friends will be there after the boy/girl is long gone) and to not give up on their passions (whether athletics, art, music, dance, etc.). Most of all, stay involved.
They are most likely giving you next to nothing to work with, one word answers and mumbles are the norm. But keep pushing, this doesn't mean you are being smothering by wanting to know what your children are up to. Asking 40 questions to get 10 answers is better than asking 10 questions and finding out nothing. Continue to monitor their lives, even as they seek (and should receive) independence. It is reasonable and responsible to what to know the who/what/where/when/why of their time. This is especially true with technology, as these children have access to each other all the time, even if it isn't face to face. And believe me, that drama llama gets fed most of all through texts/emails/IMs, when things get lost in digital translation!
Here are some tips from this weeks Common Sense Media newsletter:
Common Sense Rules of the Road for Parents
1. Model good behavior. If we’re on our Blackberries or iPhones at dinner, why will our kids listen to us when we tell them to turn theirs off?
2. Pay attention. We have to know where our kids are going online -- and what they're doing there.
3. Impart our values. Cheating, lying, being cruel -- they’re all non-starters. Right and wrong extends to online and mobile life.
4. Establish limits. Phone time, video download time, destinations. There’s really a right time and place for everything.
5. Encourage balance. Get kids involved in offline activities -- especially where there's no cell service.
6. Make kids accountable. If they have a privilege, make sure they earn it.
7. Explain what's at stake. Let kids know that what they do today can be abused by someone tomorrow.
8. Find ways to say "yes." That means we have to do some homework and know the sites they visit, the songs they download, etc. -- and find ways to use technology that lets us say “yes” more often than we say “no.”
9. Don't be technophobic. It's not rocket science.
10. Lighten up, embrace their world, and enjoy the possibilities together. None of us want digital divides in our relationships with our kids. It's up to us to join the fun and help them seize the potential.
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